*Takes a deep breath*
Okay, so this year I am actually going to try and complete NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month to the uninitiated) which basically means trying to complete a 50,000 word novel in just the 30 days in November. Less than one hour to go and I am beginning to sweat… I have a four page plot outline, visual references, coffee at the ready and I have told nearly everyone I know what it is I am about to embark on – in the hope that the fear of failure will spur me on.
But, now I am faced with the possibility of the first blank page and the many many hours of blank pages to come and I wonder… what if my story unravels? What if my carefully engineered plot devices and lovingly rendered characters with all their hopes and flaws revolt? What if? What if?
I still have to do washing, see friends, remember to eat, acknowledge my (wonderfully supportive and probably about to get to see my crazy face a whole lot more) boyfriend. I still have to show up to work each day. But my mind will be whirring, shaping, weighing, moulding, itching even, to keep writing until it is done – until this world I am about to create has taken form on the page and my story is done.
I am hoping all of my planning in advance will pay-off while still allowing me the freedom to invent on the hoof and have wacky fun with the characters, maybe even bid a few a premature end if my head gets too busy.
30 days of just eating, sleeping and writing ahead and I must admit it is more than a little bit daunting. I am either entirely mad or I am about to find out finally what kind of writer I am (or could be) if I stopped procrastinating and just applied myself. I guess here’s my chance.